Kalyesubula turned to see his child about to hurt himself.

“Keep them safe. Return them to me the way I have given them to you. That is all I ask,” their mother had pleaded with him.

Kalyesubula had not just protested, he had been angry. “They are my children too, Kikazi. If I didn’t want them, we would have used protection.”

That had not convinced Atukunda.

“Don’t tell me what you do with my co-wives. They don’t have to worry about children with a father like you,” she told him.

“What’s wrong with me?” he continued. Didn’t your bestfriend Evelyn once ask you if you could spare me for a night so she could have boys as handsome as ours?” Kalyesubula asked her.

Atukunda had chuckled, “You know she is a highway for anything male. But, you should be aware that I have heard she isn’t just a man-eater, she believes in witchcraft. She would cast a spell on you if she found her son standing in a toilet bowl as I once found Kato when I left our twins with you.”

******

Five-year-old Wasswa had dragged a dining table chair against the fridge, climbed onto the chair and was now about to tip over a glass statue of the Burj Khalifa. If the Burj tipped over, it would either cut his forehead or hurt his eyes.

Kalyesubula knew that if he shouted at Wasswa to get down from the chair, it would startle him and probably make him fall badly. He would also probably tip over the Burj or the fridge and get crushed under the weight.

His boy would be crushed because he had walked away from their crayon drawing game in the sitting room to take a phone call in the kitchen.

So, Kalyesubula decided not to shout at Wasswa. Instead, he called out to him, “Wasswa, come and we take a selfie on daddy’s phone. Come, let me show you how to take a selfie with my new phone.”

Wasswa leapt from the chair so fast that he ran into his father at the same time as his twin brother Kato, who had been busy on his zoo animals colouring book on the living room floor.

The boys squealed with excitement.

“Me, daddy! Me, daddy! I want first.” 

Kalyesubula looked at the Burj and made a mental note to move it somewhere else. Atukunda would not object when he told her what had nearly happened. But he would leave out the scary details. He would tell her that Wasswa had tried to tip the Burj over with the bathroom scrubbing brush.

Then he remembered that Nambi had been in the bathroom for more than 15 minutes. He blocked his phone from making outgoing calls and then handed it to the boys.

“Take pictures with it and then show them to me. But don’t fight over the phone or I’ll take it away from both of you,” he instructed them.

He walked down the tiled hallway to the bathroom. When he got to the locked door, he turned the light on and off several times.

“Princess! What are you still doing in the bathroom. Princess?”

“Daddy, I think I’m sick. Can you come and help me?” she asked.

He opened the door gingerly and found Nambi standing in front of the sink with her shirt off, looking at her chest in the mirror.

“Daddy, my chest is hurting.”

“Do you have a cough? Do we need to go see a doctor?” he asked her, worry creeping in.

“These are hurting,” she said, pointing at the small mounds of her developing breasts.

“No, you are not sick. You are just becoming a young lady. Mummy will tell you more,” he said, trying to hide his amusement.

“Is it true boys like them?” she asked while buttoning her blouse.

“Babies like them better,” he replied, as he turned to leave.

“Ssenga says all men are babies.”

“Is Ssenga a man?”

“No, but she has a little moustache.”

“Princess, please don’t say that when she is visiting,” he said, trying to hide his amusement.

“I will try not to.”

******

The TV was on but the boys were absorbed with his phone. He was amazed that they were not fighting over it. He moved closer to see what was amusing them only to see them scrolling through his WhatsApp videos. He felt a combination of panic and fear rush through him.

“Where are the funny videos, daddy? These ones are not funny,” Wasswa asked.

“What are these people doing, daddy?” Kato asked.

“Let me show you the funny videos,” he said nervously while quickly grabbing the phone from them.

He went to his phone settings to lock his WhatsApp messages.

******

It was only 10am and their mother had said she would be back around 4pm, while Ata, their house-help, would be coming in after 7pm, from visiting her son.

“Who wants to go to the bouncing castle at the mall?” he shouted, knowing this would distract them for a few hours.