Being a Ugandan in the 21st century has not been easy. I thought we had collected enough complicated governance issues over these 14 years until Tourism Minister Maria Mutagamba came up with a rare one last week.

She wants to improve the national anthem and has already allocated a hefty sum in dollars for the project. The improvement will involve integrating visuals so as to promote tourism.

Ours could be the first country whose national anthem is being managed by the tourism department, a national anthem primarily addressing visitors, not citizens; to attract foreigners, not to build patriotism.

When the composer of Uganda’s national anthem, Prof George Kakoma, died two years ago, the government made all the right noises. They directed that henceforth, all three stanzas of the national hymn be played/sung at public occasions instead of the first two as had been the case. They reminded schools to teach kids the anthem, and so on and so forth. And now this!

Public reaction on social media indicates that the government has not effectively communicated what it wants to do with the anthem.

Many people think it is going to be converted into a rap. They expect that to celebrate this year’s Independence Day in October with a Jose Chameleon version of “Oh Uganda, May God uphold thee…” Already, some members of the public interviewed are buying into the idea and want the old English of “thee” and “thy” replaced with rap English.

So should we brace for that moment on the morning of October 9 when we shall all rise as a special choir of rastamen jumps around at Kololo grounds singing, “Hi Uganja; Tell Big Bro upstairs to bless ya…”?

It has not been easy to be a Ugandan this century. Today, wherever you turn in Kampala, somebody tries to sell you quails’ eggs, claiming they are what has made Kenyans outstrip us in many respects.

For example, as Kenya Airways buys ultra-modern aircrafts and conducts a smooth, lengthy transition to a new CEO, the private carrier Air Uganda is being suspended from the skies by Ugandan authorities; while Kenya Commercial Bank and Equity Bank were sealing mega data leasing deals with mobile phone companies to ease electronic funds transfers, Uganda MPs were traversing the countryside with sacks of hard cash to sell their resolution to ring-fence their party president’s candidature in the 2016 elections. So we are being pressurised to eat quails’ eggs.

It is a tough, fulltime job to be a Ugandan. As we gear up to learn the new visual version of the national anthem, we are being warned of poisonous beer on sale in the market.

What will all those tourists we are calling drink? Water? Maybe our leaders should eat some quails’ eggs to help them stop dozing in parliament and start coming up with some clever ideas to develop Uganda.

Joachim Buwembo is a Knight International Fellow for development journalism. E-mail: [email protected]