By JENERALI ULIMWENGU

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As he wandered around Palestine in the first years of the First Millennium, the Devil did not possess a laptop or projector to help him do a PPP (power-point presentation) as he was trying to corrupt Jesus.

Instead, Lucifer made do with what was available to him. According to Christian lore, he somehow got Jesus to go with him to a hill that overlooked a beautiful view of fertile soils and calm rivers and streams irrigating all manner of rich crops and fat livestock.

Satan showed all this to Jesus and promised to give it all to him if he would only kneel down before him. Of course Jesus refused, and went on to rebuff other temptations proffered by the Evil One, saying, “It is written that you shall not tempt God, your Lord,” or something to that effect. The Scriptures tell us that after thus defeating the Prince of Darkness, Jesus went on with his work, leaving the Devil thoroughly confounded.

TECHNOLOGY

Technology has moved at a snail’s pace since those days, but finally the world has got to a point where a would-be tempter has the tools of temptation close to hand, and the Trump family have realised just how much easier the Devil’s task could have been if only he had confronted Jesus with a PPP.

So, Donald Trump carries a laptop to go meet with Kim Jong Un, to show him how beautiful and prosperous North Korea would be if the Little Rocket Man (Trump hopes Kim has forgotten that nasty nickname) abandoned his nukes and accepted the goodies Uncle Sam had to offer. Not that Kim is Jesus, but he is no moron either to believe in fairy tales. Kim just walked away from the talks and the cajolery, and is not likely to return any time soon.

But Trump knows that PPP was the one prop the Devil did not possess back in the day, but now it is here, it must be put to use. So he dispatches his beloved son-in-law, Jared Kushner, to go do a PPP on the Palestinians, to show them how life could be rosy if only those kids stopped throwing stones at Israeli tanks.

Just like the earlier Palestinians in the Scriptures, present-day Palestinians have rejected this nonsense that puts spurious economic interests ahead of the very legitimate political issues that underlie the conflicts in the Middle East.

Looking at America’s First Son-in-Law making those remarks the other day, one wondered whether he was just bored by his own words, or whether he was worried about the figure of a pathetic idiot he was cutting before a world audience. I have known sons-in-law held in captivity by ogres that gave them their daughters as wives, but this one takes the cake.

RIGHTS

Look, even the Israelis, in defence of whom this whole charade was ostensibly being mounted, did not care to attend.

This could very well be because they know that the United States will unconditionally support the Zionist state in all circumstances, whatever the crimes committed by Tel Aviv, whether it be the continued occupation of Palestinian and Arab territories, the ever-expanding illegal settlements on the West Bank, or the shooting of children carrying catapults.

With all the deprivations that the Palestinian people have had to undergo since 1948, it takes a special kind of not wanting to understand for someone to go to that troubled region carrying a laptop and presenting a sound-and-light extravaganza promising a milk-and-honey nirvana on condition that everyone bow down to some Pax Americana that even those who offer it don’t seem to know what it’s all about.

The Rocket Man looked at the pictures and was not impressed. I suspect he knows that if Saddam Hussein and Muammar Gaddafi had nuclear weapons they would still be in power today. The Palestinians have rejected the joke outright; they know that nothing can have greater importance than their birth right to a state of their own with internationally recognised borders. This cannot be supplanted by PPP.

Trump and the beloved son-in-law will leave power before they even begin to understand the Middle East, given that it is against their perceived interests to even understand. But at least they could learn something from the Latin adage: Timeo danaos et dona ferentes. I fear the Greeks even when they bring gifts.

Jenerali Ulimwengu is chairman of the board of the Raia Mwema newspaper and an advocate of the High Court in Dar es Salaam. E-mail: [email protected]