Although I was born and raised near our capital city of Kampala and even nearer to the international airport of Entebbe, I had no need to wear pants fulltime until I went to school aged four.
Kindergarten was a later 1970s introduction. Such was newly independent African life, that many little boys also enjoyed independence from clothes in our warm weather.
Growing older, we realised the reason we weren’t stopped from running around the neighbourhood without clothes was that we had nothing worth covering then.
Watching the Ukrainian president last week as he stood his ground before a White House disciplinary committee (or lynch mob, depending on which angle you view the re-alignment of global politics from), it felt like seeing a group of Igbo brothers nodding in the background saying that Comrade Zelensky indeed deserves wearing trousers. Soon Africans will know which of their leaders qualifies to wear trousers.
At no other time after Independence did Africa need real men and women to guide it through the unjust jungle of global affairs.
The other day in Munich we saw European tears rolling when Vice President Vance indicated that US may no longer view Russia and China through Euro lenses. At least Zelensky neither wept nor caved in while being roasted in Washington.
How long will it take for a critical number of African leaders to identify and define what stakes the continent has in the oncoming storm?
Africa today is like a woman approaching middle age and running out of time to determine how to lead the rest of her life and raise sensible children.
She has been (mis)used by men who are now fighting themselves, and if she isn’t blind, sees her chance to determine her own destiny before they finish fighting and return to her, with a new formula for abusing her.
And how apt that this is happening during the anniversary of the Berlin Conference when outsiders agreed on how to rob Africa without a single African at the table where the sharing was taking place!
There could be six or more options for Africa, four of them monogamous. Three possibilities would be to enter an exclusive relationship with America, or with China, or Russia.
Fourth would be to go monogamous with EU, but given the fast advancing years towards her menopause, Africa might find European indecision a big turnoff.
A fifth option would be a deal with Ukraine. Yes, many may not be aware that at the Soviet breakup 33 years ago, Ukraine was/is the second most powerful unit after Russia, of those that comprised the mighty Union in technology, military, economy and human resource development.
That Ukraine has remained standing and fighting since Russia attacked (some Americans now say Ukraine caused the war) is testimony to this. Let’s also add a footnote that the largest aircraft ever was built by Ukraine.
The Antonov An-225 Mriya, a real wonder of aviation engineering, was destroyed during the Russian invasion. Since Ukraine dreams of rebuilding the mass air transporter (its name means ‘dream’ in Ukrainian), Africa which lacks roads and railways could offer a partnership here to realise its African Continental Free Trade Area dream.
A sixth option would be opting for permanent celibacy (claiming independence or non-alignment). But given Africa’s limited technology and military capacity, this could be risky and she could end up like a village widow whose door can be kicked in by any villain.
Then to safeguard herself against such midnight attacks moreover abetted by some of her domestic staff (corrupt public officials), she may end up accepting protection from a not-so-honest guy, and the secrecy of the relationship would lead to lack of accountability on his part.
So a deal with a young man who is hard as nails and can build big airplanes for her can be a more viable option. But it takes people who have something worth covering in their clothes to make such tough decisions at a critical time for the continent.
