This has been the longest morning ever. For a moment, I thought that my clock was broken. Well, it is one o’clock now and I can finally go for my lunch break.

I get up from my desk and head towards the cafeteria, stretching my aching joints. I feel like I have been through the wringer. It must be because I haven’t slept much these past few weeks. My insomnia is definitely getting the better of me.

I walk over to the vending machine, grab a soda and sit down at my usual table with my lunch box. I don’t really feel like eating. Come to think of it, I don’t even remember what I packed for lunch. It can’t be that exciting. With a sigh, I open the lunch box and instead of some unappetising meal, I find a note.

“Cancel all your appointments, don’t go home and don’t trust anyone.”

I stare for a minute, not understanding what is going on. The note isn’t signed but the handwriting looks familiar. I flip through my calendar to see what I have down for the afternoon. The name I see jotted down for 2pm makes my blood run cold. I feel like I have stepped into a fog. I’m not sure what is happening but I feel like I am in danger.

As I get up from the table, I notice a woman in glasses staring at me from across the room.

I ran out of the building and into my car, fumbling to get my keys into the ignition. Once I get it started, I speed out of the parking lot, narrowly missing a pedestrian as I join the main road.

I am now in full-blown panic mode and in no condition to be driving. I also have no idea where I am headed. I keep taking a look in the rear view mirror but I don’t see the woman from the cafeteria in any of the cars behind me.

Just as I am beginning to relax a little, I get a call. The caller ID says “don’t answer EVER” and the panic instantly returns. Who is calling and why shouldn’t I answer their call? None of what is happening makes any sense to me. I slam on the brakes just before I ram into the back of the car in front of me. This is ridiculous. I need to get a grip and figure out what is going on.

As I am looking for a spot where I can pull over, a policeman on a motorcycle pulls up alongside my car and flags me down. I do as he says and open my window.

Apparently I have been weaving about in traffic and he thinks I have been drinking. Should I tell him that I am being followed? I immediately remember that the note said I shouldn’t trust anyone and I keep my mouth shut. He asks me for my licence and as he is looking at it, I put the car in drive and take off. There is something about the look in his eyes that spooked me.

I see him shouting and waving his arms about before jumping on his bike and taking off after me. Looking back to the road, the last thing I see before blacking out is a tree.

My head is pounding. I slowly open my eyes and see a white ceiling. I hear a machine beeping nearby and realise that I am in a hospital bed.

“You are awake!” I turn in the direction of the voice and see my sister sitting in a chair beside my bed.

“What happened?” I ask her and she informs me that I have been in an accident but the doctor says that I am going to be okay. She asks me why I was running away from the police and I have no idea what to tell her.

Is she one of the people I can’t trust and if I can talk to her, what is there to say? That I feel like I am being followed and I am in danger? That doesn’t even seem to make sense to me so will she believe me?

Silently, she hands me a letter. It is in my handwriting and it is addressed to me.

Hi,

I know you are scared and confused. I also know that you haven’t been eating or sleeping well lately and you constantly feel like you are in imminent danger. I know all this because it has happened before. Don’t worry, you will get through this.

First off, let me assure you that you are safe. You can trust the people around you. They are here to help like they have in the past. Second, the reason that you are in the hospital is because you are unwell. You are schizophrenic and every once in a while, you get an episode.

I know it sounds scary and very daunting but Doctor Sarah has worked with you for several years now and together you have managed to find a regimen that keeps you relatively healthy. It works so well that you end up feeling like you don’t need the medication anymore. When this happens, you stop taking your pills and you eventually end up here. Sometimes the episodes just happen irrespective of your consistency with the medicine but like I said, don’t worry, help is at hand.

It must be overwhelming to hear all this and to know that sometimes you cannot trust your own mind. You are however stronger than you feel right now and for the most part you lead a normal life. You have your family, an active social life and a successful career.

You have been smart enough to put contingencies in place for when the sickness overtakes you, so all you need to do now is to rest and give you body time to recover. You will be back to the millstone soon enough. You are in safe hands and you will get through this.

I refold the letter and turn to my sister.

“How often does this happen?”

She squeezes my hand and tells me we can discuss it at a later date. Dr Sarah walks in holding what I presume is my chart.

“I see you managed to make your appointment,” she says grinning. I burst out laughing when I realise what must have happened. My mind must have viewed her and her medicine as a threat and so I wrote the note to cancel the appointment. I look back at my sister, “You must be don’t answer EVER,” I say.

“It’s better than what you called me last time,” she replies squeezing my hand again.