A visit to Fortress South Africa

I reneged on my 2011 New Year resolution to avoid travel to any country requiring me to apply for a visa.

I just couldn’t resist an invitation to attend a dance writing workshop at the acclaimed Dance Umbrella contemporary dance festival in Johannesburg.

Talk about cutting off one’s nose to spite one’s face.

If only acquiring the South African visa were a walk in the park. It is becoming harder even for “frequent” visitors like me.

In the past, my status as a journalist on fully sponsored trips exempted me from submitting a bank statement.

“We need proof of sufficient funds while in the Republic,” the voice on the other line roared, barely two days to a trip to attend the Durban Talent Campus in 2010.

Stringent rules

The rules became stringent on my last visit.

“Previous South African visas (I had 11) must be photocopied and included in the application,” the e-mail that bore my application forms sternly stated. “This is xenophobia,” I screamed at my laptop.

For a country that had played host to ANC youth looking to oust the apartheid regime in the late 1980s and early 1990s, I had hoped for a little reciprocity a la the visa fee exemption extended to Kenyans visiting South Africa for a maximum of 30 days.

Hapless Ugandans pay $61, which must be the correct change.

Woe betides you if you have to pay a $430 deposit. That bit about it being refundable upon your return is just a clever way of having you prove you had no intention of chasing the South African dream as an illegal immigrant.

Perhaps it serves us right considering the reputation Ugandans have earned themselves of being quack “sangomas” sponging off gullible locals.

And you thought our get-rich-quick mentality was not a viable export?

It’s a pity it accords every non-diplomatic passport holding visa applicant the default status of “an economic refugee” until the visa consul is convinced otherwise.