We’ll live happily on bread and melon juice

Want to get married in Uganda?

Well, the Catholic Church would rather you had a simple, frugal ceremony.

Expensive weddings, according to archbishop of Kampala Dr Cyprian Kizito Lwanga, are intimidating young people from poor backgrounds from tying the knot, even as their richer compatriots enjoyed marital bliss.

“A wedding need not necessarily be expensive,” said the archbishop last week, adding that in contrast to Ugandan weddings, a marriage he had attended in France was only attended by the bride and groom, and a few witnesses.

At the French reception, Dr Kizito told a bewildered congregation in Kampala, they only had watermelon juice.

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Suffer the little children

Being a child is a very dangerous thing in Kenya today.

According to the country’s gender and children’s ministry, about 6,000 children were sexually assaulted last year, and more than 38,300 others were neglected in one way or another by their parents or guardians.

In the year, close to 3,000 children were completely abandoned and had to receive care from state-run and private children’s homes.

Currently, the ministry said, only 58 per cent of children under 15 live with both parents, with an incredible 2.4 million being orphans. A ticking time bomb, or a lost generation? Time will tell.

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Absolute power attracts flies and insects?

First, it was a monkey that peed on Zambian President Rupiah Banda.

Then a pesky fly tried to interrupt a live interview with US President Barack Obama.

The world’s most powerful man promptly dispatched it to the netherworld with a well-timed swat. Last week, it was the turn of the pope.

Reporters were at a loss what to do when a large arachnid appeared on the pope’s white robes, while he addressed politicians and diplomats in Prague, Czech Republic.

The pope remained unaware of the spider until it crawled on his face, when he brushed it off.

But the spider re-appeared again on his shoulder, but this time it scampered down his robes.

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Confucius say many children good

Two million people are now recognised as being descendants of the Chinese philosopher Confucius, according to a family tree released during the 2,560th anniversary of his birth.

Last updated in 1937, the tree now lists all 83 generations of the philosopher’s descendants.

The latest version, a 43,000-page document spread over 80 books, adds 1.4 million names to the family tree of Confucius, known in China as Kong Fuzi.

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All that glitters is not Tanzania ruby

Just days after miners discovered a 507-carat diamond worth in excess of $20 million at a South African mine, London jewellers last week said that a rare gemstone valued at $18 million that helped to underpin the finances of a UK-based construction company could actually be worthless.

Known as the Gem of Tanzania, the 2.1kg ruby had been mentioned frequently in the British press and appeared in the accounts of the now collapsed Wrekin Construction, which used its exaggerated value to shore up its balance sheet.

Now valuers say the ruby, which as its name suggests was mined in Tanzania, is actually worth about $1,500 — the same as a very, very small diamond.