If there ever was a nation obsessed with matters military, then Uganda is it. Everybody is like a nine-year old boy-scout who would give anything to become a sergeant in army uniform. It is just a Ugandan thing.

Right now, I do not understand why as an ordinary citizen, I am expected to know who the deputy director of logistics and engineering in the Uganda People’s Defence Forces is. But I would look strange if I confessed to not knowing the man or woman, whoever s/he is.

Yes, in Uganda you are expected to know who the chief political commissar (CPC) in the army is. Yes, the army CPC was suspended a few months ago and a new one has been appointed and anybody you meet on the street has a strong opinion why that change was effected.

Recently also, the Chief of Defence Forces Gen Katumba Wamala was moved to the government as deputy minister of works and practically every Ugandan debated the move until they got tired or lost their voice. Acres of newspapers space were devoted to analysing Katumba’s career and that of his replacement, Gen David Muhoozi.

For the record, the CDF ranks below a permanent secretary, but I don’t know how many people knew the Defence PS who was Katumba’s boss.

Even spies are public figures. In fact, a secret service man who was Chief of Military Intelligence and died quietly of natural causes 11 years ago, Brig Noble Mayombo, was and remains one of the most known faces in Uganda.

Is there any other country where life stops due to a few promotions and transfers in the army? A week ago, this dominated front page headlines, competing with the release of Primary Leaving Exams results, usually the biggest story any day it happens – unless a few army officers are shifted or promoted.

The big understatement traditionally made by the army spokesman at such an occasion is that “these transfers are normal and healthy for the institution.”

In last week’s changes, the army spokesman himself was affected, and since these take immediate effect, he barely had time to utter the traditional line about the transfers being normal and healthy before his replacement replaced him. And that was another cause for public debate and speculation because the outgoing spokesman was a Lieutenant Colonel – no red collar yet – while his replacement is a Brigadier – a one-star general!

Do you know of any other country where the public must know who the assistant director of training in the army is? In this army-obsessed country, you will find city wannabes arguing ferociously about the transfers, each trying to sound more knowledgeable than the others, and sounding like he grew up with the newly appointed director of personnel and pensions.

He will even swear that the guy is disciplined. That is another one that confuses me, for the army being one of the disciplined forces, an officer who isn’t disciplined should be the exception. Months, years of training and practice are supposed to make officers of a disciplined force disciplined, or aren’t they?

A couple of years ago, the army-obsessed public was at it as usual, ferociously debating some controversy between military generals. An exasperated retired Maj-Gen Kahinda Otafiire was asked to comment and he exclaimed, “Can you leave matters of generals to the generals?” Nobody heeded his advice…

Joachim Buwembo is a social and political commentator based in Kampala. E-mail: [email protected]