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Don’t let our dodgy leaders get your goat, milk them for humour instead

Monday August 29 2016

Last week, yet another Auditor-General’s report was made public, this one highlighting the fact that the Entebbe Express Highway is being built at a cost 10 times higher than the world average.

Everybody knows the story of our record breaking 50km road costing some $500 million, or $10 million/1km, enabling somebody to “chew” over $400 million in one deal. Yawn!

But when the Observer newspaper published it online, one reader’s comment identified the culprit who must have inflated the cost and pocketed the difference – Besigye! I nearly fell off my chair – the last time Dr Besigye worked in government was over two decades ago, and if he had ever fiddled with public funds, that would certainly have been among the hundred cases he faces in our courts.

In the same week, the Inspector General of Government (IGG or Ombudsman) Irene Mulyagonja was reported to have pleaded for an amendment to the Leadership Code making wealth declarations by our leaders accessible to the public.

Well informed members of the public can then inform the IGG in case of under-declaration (to conceal ill-gotten wealth ) or over-declaration (to justify stolen wealth later). However, the declarations were publicised only once — over a decade ago! — after which our leaders successfully blocked publication of their periodically declared wealth.

So the secret declarations residing in the IGG’s safe could just as well be blank as far as the public is concerned. The IGG plea for transparency came during the launch of a digital online declaration app for our leaders’ convenience. Her Tanzanian counterpart was recently sacked for not prosecuting enough corrupt leaders, so poor Mulyagonja may be running scared that Museveni could decide to emulate Magufuli and go for her head. But let her go ahead and cry in the wilderness; MPs are not about to pass her suggested amendment. 

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Still in the same week, the Monitor newspaper reported that the director general of the Internal Security Organisation (ISO) has authored a report to the effect that corruption could bring down the government through mass uprisings over non-existent service delivery. The country yawned.

But a couple of weeks earlier, the whole nation was excitedly discussing a minor case concerning land belonging to the national broadcaster that an MP had almost grabbed but was blocked from doing so.

The transaction, worth three million dollars, was nullified by court. But the MP’s explanation how she raised the $3 million, had everybody laughing. She said she had sold some goats to help raise the money. The goat jokes swamped social media: Photos of her purported goats showed the animals wearing sunglasses and lots of lipstick.  Don’t forget that a girl’s “goat” in some African cultures refers to her virginity…

This shows that while corruption takes resources away from service delivery, it gives an enormous boost to our humour industry. Comedians like Anne Kansiime and Salvador are no strangers to the wider East African audience. When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade; when it gives you dodgy leaders, milk them for humour.

Joachim Buwembo is a social and political commentator based in Kampala. E-mail: [email protected]

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