Since the subject was opened up by Donald Trump, let’s discuss it. What is wrong with grabbing women by the crotch as a courtship ritual? On the surface, this is an offensive question but from a sociological perspective, I have to admit, it is a fascinating one.

The starting point would be the word “women” because that is a social construct. As human beings we’re made up of all the moving parts that make this work: The biology, the social role and the political conflicts generated by social roles and competition.

Sure, we are attached to the binary system of male and female when any geneticist can tell you: Ha! It’s just not that simple. Even trying to link phenotype with genotype isn’t a binary thing. If that last sentence confused you, please read about Caster Semenya and the drama of figuring out which Olympic sports s/he should compete in.

So. If you are born sexed fe/male your upbringing will involve socialising you into the roles and responsibilities of that gender so you can grow up into a wo/man who fits into the group and behaves in appropriate ways.

That’s the third step: First genotype, second body type, third socialisation. Now, about that crotch grabbing.

It is pretty much a socialisation thing. We’ve all been raised with the usual barnyard talk about how males have testosterone and big and strong and booga-booga hormonal drive and that’s why they gather in clumps at street corners and catcall and roofie your drink.

Truth is that women too have testosterone in rather respectable quantities but they also contend with the behavioural suggestions put forth by their friends progesterone and oestrogen. The main difference seems to be a very interesting mismatch between supply and demand for intercourse.

Which is only reinforced by our socialisation. Myth: Women’s sex drive is not as strong as men’s. Reality: Ha. It may be episodic but a woman in touch with her hormonally induced sexual appetite is entirely capable of burning through several mates. The female body is multi-orgasmic and resilient and recharges for procreation at a rate that would kill the average male (help yourself, Google the ratio of males versus females that die from sex). Because this is scary to men, they/we invented contradictory beliefs like “women don’t like sex” and other poppycock.

Here’s an uncomfortable fact: Because humans ovulate secretly, women can have sex all the time with whomever they want. And we are wired to basically pick the best physical specimen for our offspring but also to create lasting partnerships with the best social specimen in order to guarantee the social and physical survival of our offspring. Now does it make sense why handsome bad boys are popular? You’re welcome.

Another uncomfortable fact: Donald Trump’s hand size may be a wonderful source of joke material, but there is an unfortunate truth in the issue. Since men have to compete with each other for attention from fickle females, they have the largest sexual organs of all primates by size. All other primates may be able to kill a human male in an all-out fight, but they have nothing on his... um... his... they have small hands, okay? I know, we are not supposed to talk about biology or how it shapes our everyday life, but I don’t see the point of ignoring it.

Structural chauvinism is an outgrowth, I think, of the need to make competitive biological drives mesh together to the benefit of the human population.

If you’re a man with small hands, the likelihood is that you are probably an aficionado of the more coercive beliefs and practices that society has allowed you in order to gain access to women who would otherwise never give you the time of day. If you are a man with large feet and a fine-looking nose, you may be confused by the very notion of sexual drought.

And if you are a woman and a feminist at the same time, let’s do the cause a favour: It is not about vilifying men like some complexity-averse dunderhead. It is about understanding what the social system is and changing what we hate about it for the benefit of all under its subjugation.

That said, beware of men with toupees and small hands. Lack of self-esteem and natural intelligence coupled with testosterone is one of the worst combinations out there. Exit the cave.

Elsie Eyakuze is an independent consultant and blogger for The Mikocheni Report, http://mikochenireport.blogspot.com. E-mail: [email protected]