The world joined Rwanda last week to commemorate the twentieth anniversary of the genocide against the Tutsi. There was a sombre mood as memories of killings of over a million Rwandans flooded back.

There is a big lesson for the world, including a number of countries in East Africa region where lives are being lost to negative ethnicity: Reconciliation despite the enormity of atrocities committed.

Two decades ago, World Vision broke the genocide story to the entire world through John Schenk, who captured still photos and video footage of hundreds of bodies of people killed in a church that were picked by international news channels. They formed the basis of discussions on how the world had watched such horrific massacres.

To help the nation get back on its feet, my organisation joined other agencies in relief, development and advocacy initiatives.

We initially distributed food aid among other non-food items. But these relief items as crucial as they are, were not the major requirement.

The psychological support required to help people deal with what they saw and experienced was immense. What does one tell a person whose neighbour hacked their entire family to death? These were the realities on the ground.

Forums that World Vision has helped organise for perpetrators and victims to share experiences and foster a healing process have been very productive. While the genocide happened 20 years ago, the reality of what happened still shocks all of us.

This week, I took a donor from the US to Nyamata area, where we met Alice (a genocide victim) and Emmanuel (a genocide perpetrator). They sat side by side, next to me.

We listened in horror as Alice narrated how Emmanuel hacked her and left her for dead. He even chopped off her right hand, leaving in its place a stump. During that attack, Emmanuel and his Interahamwe colleagues also slashed her nine-month old daughter to death.

While reality would point at hatred, I marvelled at the power of reconciliation when the two posed for photographs side by side. Alice has completely forgiven Emmanuel for his actions and even says that the sincerity of his confession makes him a true Christian!

Emmanuel spent eight years in prison for his crime against humanity. He confesses that he killed dozens of other people and is ready to pay whatever price.

Through the support of World Vision, he organised other former perpetrators of the genocide and they formed the Kurikuganze Association that preaches peace and reconciliation.

Rwanda’s transformation is evident today. The horrifying events of 1994 have not been swept under the carpet. Memorial parks have been constructed all over the countryside. They serve as stark reminders of the nation’s history and the effects of negative ethnicity.

They are intended to encourage tours that help provide healthy shocks of the extent of damage done, what negative ethnicity can lead to.

Rwanda is a lesson for all, especially those within the Great Lakes region that have experienced the challenges of negative ethnicity.

Ugly ethnic tension reared its ugly head in Kenya (previously referred to as a haven of peace), during the 2007 General Election. Currently the world’s newest nation, South Sudan is embroiled in bitter ethnic conflict that has led to the displacement in-country of over 900,000 people, with another 250,000 fleeing to neighbouring countries of Kenya, Uganda and Ethiopia.

The Rwanda story is depressing on all fronts. During the commemoration at the Amahoro National Stadium, the United Nations Secretary General regretted that his organisation withdrew its troops when they were needed most.

“Many UN personnel and others showed remarkable bravery. But we could have done much more. We should have done much more,” Ban Ki Moon said.

The killings and plunder in many areas of Africa that border on ethnic lines, create psychological tension between communities. If the psychological aspects are not handled well, then the healing process can be superficial with possibilities of eruptions in future.

Rwanda’s transformation is a story like no other.  While we are all shocked at stories of the horrific events that took place, the fact that Rwandans today are united and sit in peace and dialogue about socio-economic prosperity a lesson we can all learn from.

I advise that psychological healing precedes anything else for true reconciliation and peace.

George Gitau is the national director for World Vision Rwanda