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New Twitter peace plan: Don’t steal, drink, bribe...

Saturday August 03 2013

A summit of the International Conference on the Great Lakes (ICGLR) was held in Nairobi last Thursday. The communiqué that it issued was both confusing and straightforward.

It supported the meetings that have been taking place in the Uganda capital Kampala, between the DR Congo government of Joseph Kabila and the M23 rebels based in the east of the country.

It nudged DRC and Rwanda to continue discussions to strengthen mutual confidence between them.

DRC harbours several anti-Kigali rebel groups and the remnants of the militias who carried out the 1994 genocide in Rwanda in which nearly one million people were slaughtered.

DRC, on the other hand, accuses Rwanda of backing anti-Kinshasa groups like the M23.

So far, so good. However, things then begin to get confusing.

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Uganda was the leading military backer in the region of the Sudan People’s Liberation Army/Movement (SPLA/M) when they were fighting against Khartoum. In revenge, Khartoum backed that nasty bunch, the Lord’s Resistance Army of Joseph Kony who had been fighting President Yoweri Museveni’s regime for years.

Khartoum frequently sent planes to bomb northern Uganda. Uganda also sent its army into Sudan where it stayed for many years.

After Independence, though, while South Sudan remains a close Uganda ally, it has been biting its former benefactor’s hand from time to time.

The two countries have quarrelled over border territory, as has South Sudan also argued with Kenya, its most important diplomatic proxy during the bad days, over borderlines.

So the Nairobi meeting urged Uganda to sort out its arguments with South Sudan; then called on Uganda to resolve its latest differences with Sudan (Khartoum); but also pleaded with South Sudan to make up with Sudan.

Between these three countries, there are six quarrels going on.

You have to love social media. When people are faced with having to use no more than 140 characters on Twitter to say complex issues, they do incredible things.

Thus a tweep viewing the region from Juba, tagged me that: “Saying in Juba — Kenya taught us to steal, Uganda to drink, Ethiopians to whore, and Eritrea to bribe.”

A bit mean, and one could fault the fact that Juba seems not be accepting any responsibility for its actions, but still captures the problems in our region well and offers the solutions.

First, we should stop stealing from each other and return that which we have stolen.

In the case of the DRC, that doesn’t mean returning its diamonds, but returning the dignity and security of its people. Or, as Museveni said when he was speaking at Kenya President Uhuru Kenyatta’s inauguration in April, the Pokot should return the cattle they allegedly stole from Uganda.

Second, we should not drink too much, because we lose our senses and do stupid things.

Third, we should stop whoring — in the political sense. Which means our leaders should cease compromising their principles for personal gain.

Finally, we should end bribery. That really means stopping the abuse of power, and exploiting the weak. We do that, and Great Lakes will be one big happy family.

Charles Onyango-Obbo is Nation Media Group’s executive editor for Africa & Digital Media. E-mail: [email protected]. Twitter: @cobbo3

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