A new profession is emerging in Uganda and it seems quite lucrative. It is the profession of being unemployed and from the look of things, it is better paying than many older professions.

Today, a growing number of people are describing themselves as unemployed youth to attract the attention of top leaders.

They do not have to be young, and the photos of their meetings with big people indicate some of them could be having grown children. It is just like someone can be named Mr Small when they are size XL or Mr Short can be a giant. Similarly, an unemployed youth can be a senior citizen.

The political leaders arrange “facilitation” for the “unemployed youth” that puts to shame regular public service salaries. Besides transport to and from the meeting venues, which is refunded at exaggerated rates, the unemployed youth also get envelopes at the end of the meetings.

And with the pre-election politicking already in high gear in anticipation of next year’s February General Election, the meetings between the unemployed youth and the top leaders are likely to become more frequent. This means the unemployed youths will be making many trips to the bank.

It now makes a lot of economic sense for someone who is in a poorly paying job to resign and join the lucrative occupation of unemployed youth. But if you are the very cautious type, you can take extended leave, unpaid if need be, and work as an unemployed youth from now until the end of next February. In those 12 months, you could earn more than you earned in the past 12 years.

Alternatively, you may not have to resign or even take unpaid leave. If you really know how to manage your time, you could continue with your daytime job and then moonlight as an unemployed youth. You can schedule your unemployment activities to be taking place in the evenings and weekends. That way, you continue earning your official salary and also satisfy your “unemployer” after work.

The “unemployers” are good because they do not deduct Pay As You Earn from the contents of the envelopes and the so-called transport refunds. They give you your salaries and allowances untaxed.

The other beauty of being an unemployed youth is that you get paid by rival camps. Today you are dining with Powerful Mr A and after pocketing your envelope, tomorrow you are called by Powerful Mr B who is A’s rival and you get feted for denouncing Mr A for failing to solve your unemployment problems.

Mr B promises to deal with your unemployment and even asks you to bring the other unemployed youth on your next visit. Then the following day you return to Mr A and you claim you had been misled by Mr B but since he has not honoured his promise to get you a job, you are back and are very sorry. The envelopes come out and the party continues.

So if you don’t hear from me for the next 12 months, you can check the newspaper sections of very important news. You are likely to see my photo there among my fellow unemployed youth as we meet a Very Important Person.

Joachim Buwembo is a Knight International Fellow for development journalism. E-mail: [email protected]